This whole round the world trip had been about San Francisco. I decided a year or so ago that is where I wanted to live. I’d even spoken to a couple of immigration lawyers on my last trip about what it would take to for me to move here. However, it was unanimously decided then that as I have no skill to speak of (I did beg to differ, but apparently knitting and getting people into gigs are not 'required skills' in line with green card policy) and as there was little chance of a music promoter finding a sponsorship opportunity here (boo to proper jobs!) the only way I could get in was to come to the country and go AWOL until I found some sucker to marry me. Not my best ever plan I’ll admit but it was a tried and tested option it seemed, so that was the brief. This whole journey was instigated because I knew there were too many places I needed to see before I became imprisoned in a country by my own making.

That was then.

After experiencing paradise in Koh Tao however and Utopia in Sydney I now wasn’t so sure that San Francisco was my Nirvana. An important factor in my being here also wasn’t in play - Rachel was still loved up in Thailand with Jesper and was not planning on coming back any time soon as far as I knew. So I was very surprised indeed when I had this intense feeling of being more ‘home’ than I have ever been when I saw the Transamerica Pyramid and the Sutro tower rise up on the San Francisco sky line. It was quite a revelation. This place definitely gets under my skin.

My Californian experience started with a bang. A very loud one. I was met at SFO by Katie my Koh Tao roomie and brought back to her pad in the Upper Haight area, a block from the famous picture postcard setting of Alamo Square. Unfortunately Katie had to go to work so I went to sleep in order to make sense of the day I had gained since crossing the International Date Line. Three hours into my slumber I was woken by the banging and crashing of drums and almost jumped out of my skin let alone bed. Unaware to me, Katie lived with a cool bunch of hipsters who are in a band and I’d arrived on the day of band practice. Great! The rehearsal room was directly under her bed and although they really are a great band, given the option, not my choice of alarm clock.

Old meets new. The Victorian houses of Alamo Square meet the San Francisco city sky line. My on/off neighborhood for the next 3 months.

After three days of Katie and her friend’s fabulous hospitality I set off on the first of many ‘interesting’ Greyhound bus journeys to meet Jen, my Australian outback buddy, in LA (more about those bus trips later!). A cross city bus ride from downtown LA to Santa Monica Beach and Jen and I were reunited. We had an itinerary set to take us up the west coast of North America to Canada in four weeks and it all started here. We had three days to explore LA and for me to fit in that Huntingdon beach surf experience in honour of Paddy and Clare.

The weather though was pretty crappy and the first day was spent investigating Santa Monica and letting Jen get over her jet lag. The second day the thick fog that had enveloped the beach had now come in so far that you couldn’t actually see the sea, so surfing was off for the time being. Instead we headed in land to what we had really come to LA for – Hollywood! First stop Universal Studios, somewhere I’d always wanted to visit since I was a kid when a fellow junior school pupil had told me about the Jaws ride. I’ve never forgotten how much I’d envied their experience as that film at the time was the epitome of cool to me. Now I was finally going to see it, and it didn’t matter how dated and unrealistic the ride had now become. I was very excited.

Jen and I at Universal Studios, Hollywood.

Jaws! Hurrah for childhood dreams!

Another childhood dream fulfilled!
The hover board from Back to the Future II

And the DeLorean! I’m in nostalgia heaven!

We managed to be entertained at the studios from the 10am opening till 6pm close. It was a great day. Next stop the Hollywood hills to see the infamous sign that we’d come from opposite sides of the earth to see, and where best to see it than the new plaza next to the Kodak Theatre where the Oscars are held annually….

Here it is….

Hold on, let me get my zoom on. Can you see it now?

Surely not? Open your eyes! The white on the hills!!!!

What about now….

There you go!

Damn bloody fog. Come all this bloody way to see such an important piece of cinematic history and you can’t. To be honest, Hollywood in general was a huge let down. I expected glitz and glamour like ever other tourist I suppose and all I found was a fogged out sign, a few hand prints in cement and a dirty street like any in London complete with drug dealers, hookers and with a few stars embossed on the pavement. We didn’t even realize we where even on the ‘famous’ Hollywood Boulevard until we dropped something and realized we were standing on Elton John.

However having said that it did kill an hour or two and it was cool seeing all the names of the famous people who I greatly admire.

Me and the hand and foot prints of my hero Steve McQueen outside the Mann’s Chinese theatre.

In between Elvis and The Beatles on Hollywood Boulevard.

Then it was off on the hunt for some nightlife. A bus ride down Sunset and a couple of choruses of Donna Summer later we were outside The Whisky A Go Go. I had really wanted to have a beer or two in the venue where the Doors had been a regular feature, but it was rammed and some dodgy metal band where playing so we continued on our way. We checked out the Johnny Depp owned Viper Room outside which River Phoenix famously bit the dust, but we weren’t dressed for it so instead opted for the Rainbow. The moment we walked through the door not only did I recognize it as a setting in the epic Guns n Roses video ‘November Rain’, but to top that none other than Rock God Motorhead bass player/vocalist Lemmy was sitting at the bar. I was in rock heaven and almost peed my pants with excitement! I headed for the bar and drunk as many margaritas as I could till I summoned up the courage to have this picture taken….

The Ace of Spades himself. Lemmy.

The only problem was that I was now so drunk that I don’t remember much past that and wasted my last day in LA bed ridden and throwing up. It was the worst case of alcohol poisoning I can remember since Boxing Day ’93 which involved 1 boyfriend, 2 friends and 3 bottles of tequila. Bleughhhh. Jen spent the day alone walking Venice beach being accosted by weirdoes, poor thing. However she did report back that the fog was still horrendous and even if I was able to stand up without being sick I wouldn’t have been able to have that surf. Sorry Paddy!

After twenty four hours in bed I finally made it out for my next Greyhound experience and Jen’s first. This was a corker. Snoring you wouldn’t believe from all corners and an overheated bus that broke down for two hours in unbearable heat. It was pandemonium.

So where was our next stop I hear you ask? New York?....

Surely you can’t get a Greyhound to Paris...

What the hell?... Egypt???

Of course not, we were in Disneyland for grown ups - LAS VEGAS Nevada, complete with its Epcot Center-esque world of mini city replicas! They say you either love this place or hate it and I L-O-V-E-D it! It was tacky beyond the extreme, but there was an undeniable air of anticipation that any minute YOU could be today’s big roller and I loved that excitement and all the neon and glitz that went with it. I understood how dangerous this place could be for someone like me.

LAS VEGAS BABY! We were so money!

Jen at the Luxor (the Egyptian Pyramid Casino)

I lost track as to how many days we spent in Las Vegas but each day was packed to the brim as there was so much to see and do. On top of just exploring the grandeur of each casino there was heaps of free entertainment which included over the top and overtly sexual pirates singing and dancing outside Treasure Island (complete with pirate ship and pyrotechnics), singing and acting Roman robotic statues at Caesar’s palace, hourly circus acts at Circus Circus and my favorite, the hypnotic dancing fountains outside the Bellagio (as seen at the end of Oceans 11) which I could never tire of watching.

As for the gambling, Jen was a very good girl and kept her money safe, but me, well I’m a bit of a fan of Texas Hold ‘em and couldn’t leave this city without a flutter at one of the tables. I’d like to say I won big but I didn’t, I lost small and to be fair to myself I actually didn’t do that bad. The 40 dollars I said I was prepared to loose I managed to make stretch a few hours on a small stakes table. I was up, then I was down, then I was up again, then I was out. When you take into factor the free drinks you get when you sit at a table I reckon I actually broke even as Jen was getting free drinks too just for sitting next to me. The penthouse suite at the Bellagio I promised Jen was unfortunately now not an option, so it was back to hostel hell.

Me at Excalibur, my choice of casino to loose all me money at.

So from Nevada, the next logical step was to get our kicks on Route 66 with a 5 hour trip to Arizona for another unmissable American experience, the Grand Canyon. My mum once missed the opportunity of a helicopter ride over this breath taking sculpture of nature when I was very young and has recounted the story endless times since. It felt weird me being there all those years later and not her. It was a fantastic experience but I must say I felt guilty standing there without her.

The Grand Canyon.

After another incredibly hideous overnight Greyhound bus journey up the 101, it was ‘California here we come, right back where we started from’. This time the journey was filled with screaming children and self proclaiming Gangstas (i.e. they were all mouth no trousers). If you want to see the REAL America, Greyhound buses are the way to go. It really brings out the dirge of society in a way that no other method of transport in the world can. It also fills you with a sense of realization (if you were ever in doubt) that you are one together person with a hell of a lot of intellect to boot.

We met some very interesting characters during our many journeys up the west coast because our accents created intrigue amongst our fellow passengers. As a result we were asked some very interesting questions, such as ‘shit…. Australia … that’s an island right? Man I couldn’t live on one of those islands you get Tsunami’s ‘n shit’ (‘Gangsta’ 1 from Las Vegas trip illustrating his geographical knowledge). Later on in our trip up coast we were also asked if ‘That’s how they dressed where we were from?’ - Note - We were wearing T shirts, jeans and trainers (?!) The same girl asked with all sincerity if I knew the Spice Girls seeing as I was from London and on a separate occasion Jen was asked with the same sincerity if she knew Crocodile Dundee!!!!!!

Cable car and the Golden Gate Bridge, San Francsico.

Finally with little sleep I arrived back home in San Francisco at 7.30 am with Jen. We got ourselves across the city and collapsed in bed, thankfully without the threat of band practice this time.

We had three fun filled tourist attraction visiting days that included:

A visit to see the sea lions at Pier 39, Fisherman’s wharf....

...crossing the bay by ferry for a tour of Alcatraz...

… and a few margaritas with the girls after a shopping trip through, north beach, China Town and Union Square.

Katie, Devon, Jen and me.

For the first time in my many visits to San Francisco I got to see the spectacle that is Bay to Breakers. A race that does as it suggests - goes from the bay to Breakers. However unlike our rather sedate London Marathon or Great North run, this is just one big excuse for a piss up. Minimal people actually race but it seems the whole city comes out in various attire (most often than not none at all) to get drunk and walk it. It was crazy. Naked people everywhere at 10.30 am. Welcome to San Francisco!

Bay to Breakers. You have to see it to believe it!

After the parade it was party time at Katie’s where Carlos and Nicole were having a work related barbeque. It was a really fun day but unfortunately Jen got food poisoning and spent the next day in bed throwing up, bless her.

Next stop Napa County to visit Rachel’s Family and show Jen wine country. After another (thankfully very short) greyhound journey we arrived in St Helena and were met by Sue, Rachel’s mum and taken to their home in Calistoga. Calistoga is known for its hot springs and spas and was named by the town founder Sam Brannan who had originally intended to name the town Saratoga after the Saratoga Springs of New York. However on the day he officially named the city the millionaire was so pissed he named it the ‘Calistoga of Sarafornia’ rather than the Saratoga of California and the name stuck. A great story for a town in a county known for its booze.

I love being here. It’s my home from home. It’s so comfortable, like a mini farm, with four cats, three dogs, two birds and a horse. Jen and I took a couple of days to relax here and catch up with sue and enjoy the Napa heat. We only left the grounds once to go for the obligatory wine tasting and to see how ‘the villa’ was coming along.

The Villa, or as it is now known Castello Amerosa…..

This Italian castle copy has been constructed from imported Italian brick and is already the most eagerly anticipated Winery in Napa. Owned by Daryl Sattui of the V. Sattui winery and partly constructed by Rachel’s family’s business, it has been in development for 10 years and is due to open next year. It will be to Napa what the Luxor, Paris and the Venetian are to Las Vegas. If this is the start of something, I can’t imagine what Napa will look in 10 years from now.

Before we left Jen managed to fit in a ride On Rachel’s dad Marshall’s Harley. She was a very excited girl.

Jen, Marshall, and Sue hiding in the distance.

See that Trailer behind the white car? That was to be my home when I returned from Canada for the next 2 months. I can now officially be called trailer trash - but I’d rather I didn’t so don’t try it. Besides, it’s a very very very nice trailer. It has air con, cable TV and everything so I was definitely not complaining!

Next, Sue kindly drove us to Sacramento to put us on a bus to Portland. This was another long haul and probably the worst of all the journeys so far. First of all we didn’t actually make it on our bus despite being two hours early for it and prepaying for our tickets a week before hand. This had something to do with Greyhound’s first come first served policy for seats. Silly us, we had got there early and gone for some food only to come back 15 minutes beforehand to queue up with everyone else who had arrived later than us. We had to wait three hours in the bus terminal with some of the sorriest excuses of an ‘educated’ society I had very seen, one of them being the woman who asked if I knew the Spice Girls.

16 hours of hell later we arrived in Portland Oregon to visit an old friend from San Diego, my supposed future American husband Phil. My camera decided to go on the blink during this part of my trip so I have very little photos around this period which is a shame as I can’t show you how wonderful this man is. Maybe I’ll post pictures of the wedding when it finally happens. We had a great time in Portland and I think next to San Francisco this could be by next favorite US city. We shopped in the hugest book store I’ve ever seen (it took up a whole block), and went on some cool walks including a visit to it’s award wining rose garden and a huge hike through America’s largest forested city park. Thirty + miles of trail I think there is but we only managed around eight.

Multnomah Falls, Portland.

After a weekend with Phil, but still no concrete wedding plans (darn!), we braved our final Greyhound experience to move on to Seattle to visit some of Jen’s friends. Just as expected it started to rain when we arrived and didn’t stop until I left. I liked Seattle very much but only ended up staying a couple of days as my friends in Canada wanted me to come earlier than expected. It was here that my journey with Jen was to end and I left her with the promise to hook up in London when she got there in November if she couldn’t get to Canada before I left.

Me, Jen and her chums by the Space needle, Seattle Washington.

Me at the famous Fish Market in rainy Seattle.

I was now on own again, but this time thankfully I was on a marginally more expensive tourist bus bound for the Vancouver, Canada. It was a very exciting time as I was about to meet up with a dear friend who I hadn’t seen in almost eight years!

I had met Amber and her friend Mike when my friend Su and I traveled through Vietnam in 1998. We all spent around four weeks together and forged a friendship that has survived the test of distance and time even though I haven’t seen her or him since. When she met me of the bus with her boyfriend Geoff, it was like no time had passed. It was fabulous.

In Sam Wayne backpacking style I was put up for the night in the five star Fairmont hotel. Geoff and Amber were staying there as they were in the middle of a move from Victoria, Vancouver Island and Geoff worked for the hotel. It was heaven. Hot tubs and roof top open air swims, life couldn’t get much better.

Me and Amber with Darth Vader bear in Vancouver. There were hundreds of these bears all over the city for some reason. All designed differently. Darth Vader was my fav.

After a great weekend that ended with the best Greek food I’ve ever eaten for Sunday lunch, Amber and I were on the car ferry over to Victoria on Vancouver Island where she still worked and the house they were moving out of was. We did some serious talking on that ferry and caught up those missing eight years in record time. On our arrival we headed straight out for a drink and a catch up with Mike, Amber’s traveling partner and my much missed chum from Vietnam. It was time to catch up all over again. It was no problem though, it was so great to see them both.

As well as old friends I also had new friends to visit on this Canadian island, Chris and his Korean wife whom I’d met in Dharmasala India, my massage course buddy from the very beginning of my trip. Da Eun was now very pregnant since the last time we had seen each other almost a year ago, so we had some great times together chilling out, eating clam chowder, strolling through parks and some lovely ocean walks.

I had a very relaxing time in Canada and didn’t push myself to do too much. Besides the world cup had now started so my whole life evolved around getting up at 6am and watching football until 2pm. I didn’t miss a match and it was a very tiring experience at times. One of my favourite matches while I was here was Korea’s first match against Togo which I watched with Da Eun. Koreans live for there football. Think back to the tournament before last, and Da Eun was no exception. So excitable she was at times that it made it more a pleasure to watch her than the match, if not a bit scary that the excitement may induce an early labour!

Chris and a very pregnant Da Eun.

Besides the world cup most of time was taken up on Mike’s Boston Whaler, his newly bought nifty little speedboat. Amber and I were very honoured to be the second passengers on this new vessel after his family. We had a couple of fantastic outings, one to the Sydney Strip for crab fishing and a picnic, the second for lunch on one of the many islands in the waters between Vancouver Island and the US main land.

Mike and Amber on board his Boston Whaler.

Me and one of the crabs we caught. I couldn’t bear to kill it though so I let it go.

Other outings included checking out the totem poles and aboriginal culture at the natural history museum (which unfortunately wasn’t a patch on New Zealand’s Te Pa Pa).

An almost private evening viewing of the beautiful Buchard Gardens with Amber’s mum…

Not only did Amber arrange this as a freebie for us all, but we were the only people in this hugely popular tourist hot spot because it was pissing down with rain! It was fantastic!

MORE WHALE WATCHING!!! This time it was Orcas (killer Whales).

On this fantastic trip we also saw something I’ve always wanted to see in the wild – otters, but unfortunately they were too quick for a photo opportunity.

We also saw Harbour porpoises, harbour seals, and these….

Bald Eagles.

On my last evening I also got the chance to hand feed this gorgeous wild harbour seals.



It was now the middle of June and my time was coming to an end here which was very sad. However, an interesting development had taken place that made it much easier to tear myself away; Rachel had fallen out of love with Thailand and was heading home before taking a new position in Korea. She was arriving back in San Francisco the same time I planned to fly back so we coordinated our flights to arrive at the same time on the 14th June at SFO. With a sad farewell to my Canadian friends but with a promise to not leave it another eight years I headed back home to San Francisco once again.

Rachel’s and my time together in Calistoga was very relaxing and very uneventful to be honest. Just what I needed before heading back to reality. A lot of our time was spent watching the end of the world cup, getting the house ready for Sue’s impending hip replacement operation which was happening on the 18th of July and sunbathing in the Napa heat in the family pool. My lilo has become one of my new best friends. It’s a hard life I know!

Brady, Rachel’s nephew in the pool I spent most of July in.

The evenings were spent watching films, knitting and playing with the newest member of the family, Hannah the kitten.

Being in Calistoga in July meant I got to witness my first 4th of July Parade. A very ironic affair for an English girl like me. I got to witness the small town-ness of Calistoga in all its glory, complete with barbeque, home made apple pie and fireworks.

Calistoga’s forth of July parade.

The Fairbanks family out in force. Rachel, Jordan, Brady, Devon and Sue (Rachel’s cousins and mum)

Before I kill you all with boredom, it wasn’t all as mind numbing as it sounds. Rach and I killed the monotony with the odd trip to the city to see her old roomie Jay and to party with Tina who came to visit from San Diego.

Rachel, Jay, Tina and me.

On this particular night self confessed bacon obsessive Tina purchased some bacon print packing tape and for some random reason it was decided that we had to wear bacon that evening.

It was all very innocent fun,a stupid idea you may even think, but little do you know. Bacon wearing got us into a club night for free. it appears everyone loves bacon! The rest of the evening turned into a bacon frenzy with random strangers requesting the bacon until the whole place was wearing originally placed bacon on some body part.

In fact it started a getting a bit too out of hand!!!!


Even the dog wanted in!


Then of course there was Katie’s birthday party and my birthday too.

Me and the girls at a street party on my birthday.

Katie and the lovely Dave. Another perspective husband for that green card, unfortunately both his parents are already English so the offer of a dual passport didn’t work as he already has one. Boo!

After my birthday I stayed in the city for the week as this would be my last chance before Sue had her operation and she would need Rachel and me around the house. I took the opportunity to help out Devon and her designer jewelry business and to make a bit of cash. Devon makes some really beautiful pieces and we talked about me possibly doing a bit of rep work for her designs in London, so if anyone has any ideas of any boutiques that I could approach please let me know.

Watching the sunset over San Francisco and Muir woods with Devon and Rob.

That week Muse, the band who were currently holding the no.1 position in the UK album charts and who I used to work with came to town. San Francisco was the first stop of their Black Holes and Revelations tour. They very kindly put me and my friends on the guest list and it was awesome to see them (see, getting people into gigs is a skill!) The gig rocked just as expected and it almost made me home sick but not quite.

Crap picture I know, but that is Muse, promise.

Saying hello to the boys backstage. Me and Chris, one third of Muse.

and of course the lovely Tom.

The Sunday before I headed back to Napa it was Katie’s friend Carlos’ birthday so we all rented a boat and went wake boarding on Lake Berryesa. I was in serious need of some water action as I hadn’t been diving since Australia and as funds were now too low for a final dive this was just the tonic I needed.

Captain Carlos.

Dave and his bitches. Me, Katie and Rocky.

Katie and I on the Tube. A much better alternative to the London sort I think.

And so it was back to Napa for my final few days to help out Sue and her new hip and to spend as much time as possible with my new best friends Lilo and pool. As before my last few days while I got ready for my trip home where pretty uneventful just as I liked, but I did get to experience a ‘moderate’ earthquake! The whole house shook, it was really cool! It only measured 4.5 on the Richter scale but it was really exciting and made the ‘Good Morning America’ news.

After a final night of ‘bar hopping’ with Rachel (Calistoga only has three bars so it wasn’t exactly a crazy night!) and a teary farewell to her mum Sue in the morning I was off to the city to catch my flight home. The traffic was thankfully horrendous. I say thankfully because it made me so late for my flight that I didn’t have time for a teary farewell with Rachel. It also meant I was sat in my seat before I had time to fully register the finality of this flight home and what was to come next.

As predicted in my last email this last chapter comes to you from the air. I can’t sleep and can you blame me? Fifteen months and nine countries later I am finally coming home with a head full of mind blowing experiences that I still can’t believe I actually I did (I’VE DIVED WITH WHALE SHARKS FOR GOD’S SAKE!) and I’m already desperately missing new friends that have become as close as old ones.

By the time you read this I will already be home, so for the sake of my sanity and the price of a cup of tea with your company I’m all set to bore you senseless with tales of underwater exploration, hiking expeditions gone wrong, rainy days in paradise and lost loves.

Give me a call sometime.